Have you ever?

****Disclaimer:  No babies were actually harmed or lost... ever.

Have you ever.... talked in your sleep?  Walked in your sleep?  Laughed in your sleep? Carried on a conversation in your sleep?  Completely gone into a frantic fit and thought you lost your child in your bed, got on your hands and knees feeling and patting down every square inch of your bed, stripping yourself and your husband of all sheets and blankets, thrown your husbands legs across the bed and rolled him over and RIPPED away his pillows because he’s “suffocating the baby!”....  (insert heavy, gasping, panicked breaths)?

Well... I have!  It’s happened THREE ... yes THREE times now!  It’s awful!  I can laugh now, but when it happens, it’s absolutely awful.  I’m actually cracking up right now as I write this, because if there were a video camera in our room, it would be the FUNNIEST thing to watch.. I’m convinced. 

The worst part about the whole thing, is that the precious little munchkin doesn’t even sleep in our room, let alone our bed, so there’s no logical reason for me to ever think he’s in bed with us, let alone lost in our bed.

It all starts when I’m sleeping... soundly soundly sleeping.  ZZZZ  zzzz  ZZZZ... a peaceful slumber that I CHERISH with all my heart.  Dreaming of sweet things like, sleeping. 

Then SUDDENLY...

I sit up. 

I start feeling around and wildly patting every inch of bed that I can reach, “where’s the baby... where’s the baby”? 

No baby.... AHHH! 

So I fly onto my hands and knees and start the wild search, throwing sheets, pillows, comforters... my husband... you name it...if it’s in the way of me and my baby... it’s OUTTA HERE!  I’m like the Tasmanian Devil zipping through a few square feet of bedding uncontrollably. 

Still... no baby...

So what’s the next logical thing to do when you’re completely hallucinating in your sleep? 

Get up OUT OF BED, frantically walk the perimeter of the bed and feel around with every appendage, continuously repeating “oh... oh... where are you, buddy... where are you?”. 

Then, once I arrive at the other side of the bed, I again move poor Josh and RIP the pillows out from under him - BECAUSE he MIGHT be squishing the baby! 
A few moments later... after trying to ignore this wild fit of hysteria, Josh wakes up and says “WHAT are you doing?”. 

I stop.
 
Take a breath. 

Wake up a little...

Reply...
“I’m dreaming and I can’t stop”. 


Then, I wake up (really wake up) and hear the noise of the baby monitor and know that my sweet precious baby angel is sleeping soundly in his room, in his crib, and best of all... he’s not in our bed and he’s not lost.

And then I return to my peaceful slumber.  That is, after I get my heart rate back down to a normal speed, and not that of a race horse.

Sweet dreams :)