An airplane, short shorts, and a cattle rancher.

Well. Well. Well.  I've been wondering when my next "only me" moment was going to happen, and I didn't have to wonder long.  Thank you to the human race for being so very diverse, fantastic and amusing.  Thank you as well for being tolerant, it's a virtue too many of us are lacking.

Yesterday I was on an airplane.  That wasn't the the interesting part.  I was on the airplane, and as everyone loaded in, I couldn't help but to play the "don't make eye contact" card and hope that everyone sat around me, but not next to me.  C'mon... we all love that extra room when no one takes the middle seat on a flight.  Well, as the awesome flight attendants announced for the third or fourth time, "this is a completely full flight, please find a seat and sit in it", I knew it was just a matter of time.

Then it happened.  He sat.  Him, his legs, and his VERY short shorts.... they sat in my row, in the aisle seat (I like the window so I can lean and sleep). 

Now it was just a matter of time before the middle seat was taken.  I was hoping the girl I was traveling with would fill the seat, but no luck.   It happened.  A girl (I feel weird calling her a lady as she was probably my age - young ) said to the man in short shorts, "Excuse me, is anyone in that seat"?  Then.... IT HAPPENED.  Short shorts gets up, and DOESN'T LET HER IN!  No.. no... that would be too easy, too nice to the innocent bystander occupying the window seat.  Instead, short shorts, gets up and scoots into the middle seat!  Right next to ME!  Oh heavens.  I have not had that much exposed stranger skin next to me since sometime in college at a bar... 

Anyhow, I determine it best to just mind my own Kindle and keep to myself.  Not five minutes later it starts unraveling.  This had to be one of the most entertaining flights I've had in a while.  A long while.  The 2 year old little boy three rows back starts having a panic attack.  Yes, you read that right.  PANIC ATTACK.   Let me clarify - BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMS and GASPING for AIR in BETWEEN!  Good times people, good times.  My heart broke for him.  It was awful.  Poor little guy, I just wanted to go hold him.  Obviously his parents didn't have the same feeling.  They literally said, "Oh it's a panic attack, he'll just scream and freak out a little longer and then pass out in exhaustion".  OH...ha ha... is that all!?!?!  Ok, I thought maybe we should worry, but that sounds like an awesome plan.  WHA??????  I've heard of letting a baby cry it out, but COME ON a two year old who is knowingly having a PANIC ATTACK?  Can't we do something?  SOMETHING?  Well, the girl in the aisle seat whips out a little stuffed horse she bought for her daughter, handed it to the flight attendant and said, "please, give this to him and see if it helps".  Imagine that... what a novel idea - comfort the child having a panic attack.  Genius.  Best part... it HELPED!  Nobel Peace Prize to the lady in the aisle seat!

Then, as Panic Attack settled (passed out), Short Shorts started reading his book in some foreign language, and Nobel Prize whipped out her book, I figured we were on our way.  We were.  Ahhhh....

The flight continued for a good while with everyone keeping to themselves.  It was lovely.  Then.  It happened.  A conversation between Short Shorts and Nobel Prize.

Short Shorts: Where are you from?

Nobel Prize: Colorado

Short Shorts: What were you doing in Reno?

Nobel Prize:  My husband and I were at a cattle show.  We're cattle ranchers. (She will now be referred to as "Cattle Rancher")

Short Shorts: You were showing cattle?

Cattle Rancher:  No, buying them.

Short Shorts:  (Pause) Oh.  So, you buy cattle?

Cattle Rancher:  Yes.  Cattle. Embryos. Semen. 

Short Shorts:  (Pause)  Oh. And then you ...???

Cattle Rancher:  Slaughter them, or sell them for slaughter. 

Short Shorts:  Oh.  So you don't eat meat then?  I can't imagine that you would eat them after raising them?

Cattle Rancher:  Oh, are you kidding, I LOVE meat!  After working cattle all day, you WANT to kill them!  Ha ha.  There's nothing better than a good steak.

Short Shorts:  I'm vegan.

HA HA HA!!!!  I almost burst out laughing!  But instead, my eyeballs BURST out of my head and I had to quickly put them back in!  Luckily, all ended well and they were sweet and tolerant of one another and their chosen lifestyle. 

It doesn't get much better than this people.  I can't make this stuff up.

Happiness on a Saturday Morning

So.  The day has come.  Well, actually the day came last weekend, and this weekend it just reassured me that I wasn't having a dream, it was true.  The Pioneer Woman has her own cooking show!!!  WHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Last weekend it was so exciting and fantastic, but this weekend I was actually able to watch and pay attention rather than just gasp in awe at the fact that Ree is on TV!  YAY!  I love LOVE L.O.V.E The Pioneer Woman.  My friend Rae turned me on to her a while back.  In fact I've posted about my love for The Pioneer Woman before.  She's simply Fan-Tastic!  Oh, I just LOVE HER!

Anyhow, I was so thrilled to have her on again, and in my home with me on a Saturday morning.  Yes, I actually took photos of my TV... Don't judge!

 Hi Ree!  Oh, are you talking to me?  Yes, I'm here and I'm totally enjoying my lesson on Mac n' Cheese and Sliders.  YUM!

 Onions... Yum, but I can' only photograph them.  Josh HATES onions, so I must live in envy.

FYI - I made the mac n' cheese.  Deeeee-lish!  So delightful.  I plan on making lots of her stuff.  I actually have her cookbook and need to start putting it to use.  I tend to get stuck in ruts... and it's time to get out!  It's not like we're cowboys or anything, but I know my hubby does enjoy a good hearty meal.

But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I'll make him wear some chaps every time I cook a meal from her cookbook?  Hmmmm.... now we're talkin'!!!

Yeehaw!

Let's. Catch. Up.

Ok... so, let's catch up.  But let's not take forever to do it.  Let's pretend that we're friends who haven't seen each other in years, and run into each other in passing at the airport and have to fill each other in as fast as possible with what's going on!

I'll go first....

Sidekick started standing on his own a while back.  Shortly after he figured that out, he started walking.  Now he's practically running (and falling) everywhere!   He has lots and lots of words and cracks us up all the time.  Oh my, he's so funny and so cute!  I just don't  know where he gets it from (wink wink).

His favorite game is "boo"!  And just about every animal he sees is a "doggie".  Sorry cows... you are officially "doggies" until further notice.  Oh, and if the child could be in water all the time, life would be GRAND.  I think he'll be a future Cirque de Solei performer.. or maybe an Olympic swimmer.  Watch out!  Hmmm... but maybe a golfer, he's pretty dang good at golf already.  Then again, I'm not all that keen on golf, so I'll think we'll stick with baseball?  I dunno... he seems to be pretty good with that bat! 

(BIG inhale gasping for air as though I've just talked myself out of all air reserves in my lungs).  Whew! 

Oh, and my husband?  Yep, he's hot.  Still love him.  He's a great daddy to Sidekick.  That pretty much sums it up, right?

Was that quick and vague enough?  Ok, perfect!  Have a nice flight!!

:)  LUVS!

Such a guy thing...

On our computer at home, we have our photos rolling through on the screen saver all the time, and I love it.  I swear, every few days I get lost in the slideshow.  And, every few days, I wonder "who the heck is that"! Ha ha... it's true!

Anyhow, just a moment ago, a picture flashed that made me think back and then kick myself because this was a blog post I had in mind MONTHS ago... you know, like right after I took the picture!  Heavens... heavens... help me!

Humor me, we're going to take a little journey back in time.  If I were on a television show, I'd start gazing off into "la la" land and the image would go all squiggly until the "memory" appeared... (que squiggly lines and memory appearing)....

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and we were in Santa Cruz.  The whole family decided to saunter over to Costco... we're nuts, what can I say.  Anyhoooooo.... there we are at Costco and I looked at Josh with my "don't get excited, we're not spending a dime" look, and he quickly replied with "I'm heading over to electronics"....

About 30 minutes later, I could only wander so much longer with Sidekick.  Everyone else was shopping, but I was just wandering and trying to help spend everyone else's money.  I told you we weren't going to spend a dime!  So, I figured I'd wander over to the electronics section and see what new "toy" my husband was enthralled with.  Let me also remind you that he was in the electronics section with his brother.  His brother who is like mister "Good Housekeeping" review master on all electronics.  Seriously, the guy knows everything about anything electronic.  He's the one who burst my bubble about 3G.  I knew he'd know the answer, so I said "Hey Jesse, what's 3G stand for?".  I thought I was going to get some fantastic answer about all this snazzy stuff that I have no clue, nor care about... and then he replied with "Third Generation".  Whaaaaa?  That's it?  So dumb.  So boring.  Can you please make up an answer please?  Something more entertaining than "Third Generation".   No wonder they call it 3G, it's way more interesting that way.

I digress.... so I'm wandering over with Sidekick (he's sleeping by the way), and I find this...

HEY GUYS!!!

 Please tell me how funny it is that two men are staring at a TV and a HUGE chunk of meat is showing on the screen behind them!  HA HA!  Priceless.

This little guy doesn't even know what he missed.  But someday he'll be right there with them.

On the road again....

So I'm traveling again.  Whenever I'm gone, I bug Josh like crazy to send me at least one morning picture and one night picture of Sidekick.....

So here are a few that I've received this week:

 THIS

MAKES

 MY

 DAY

If it doesn't make yours... I don't know what to tell ya.  

This is pretty stinkin' cute...

So, my grandparents live three doors down (note to self: that would be a great name for a band).  It is fabulous.

Having them around to see Sidekick is nothing short of fabulous.  And then sometimes, there's more than fabulous... there's just  moments that take your breath away.

A few weeks ago my grandparents came down to say "hi" (who are we kidding, they were coming to see Sidekick).  They weren't at our house two minutes before my grandpa, did something he hasn't done in years.  But, what can I say, Sidekick brings out a side of him I've never seen, it's absolutely precious.

Well, if that doesn't just melt your heart....

I know what I said...

Yes, I know I said I'd get better about my blogging.  And guess what.  I know I said that.

I didn't lie.  I simply took a detour.  Detour I tell ya!!  Sheesh... back off.

If you go back a few posts, you'll recall that weeks 1-7 were a bit rough on our little family.  Well, I have to tell you... the rest of the weeks haven't been much more kind in the health department.  As far as love, humor and humility go, we're #1.

We've survived:
Some sort of throat attacking "thing" that "looked like strep" but wasn't
Laryngitis
HORRID demon flu
Diarrhea from hell - thanks to the demon flu
Ear infections (both Josh and Sidekick)
Ruptured eardrum (Josh)
Pink-eye
Sinus infections
And now...croup.

Good times.  Good times.

Now, I'm not pretending that we're the only people who have been smacked with a freaking 2x4 between the eyes with every mother loving illness out there these last four months.  But for heavens sakes... STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

For THREE WHOLE DAYS, wait did you hear that....    THREE.  WHOLE.  DAYS.  I had a HAPPY, HEALTHY and FUNNY little baby Sidekick!!!  Then, it quickly ended.  Stolen, right out from under us.  Goooooooooooooo!

So, now, I go back to the fact that I know what I said.  And I'm thinking about it.  I really am.  But, the honest to goodness truth is that when I can get some sleep, I get it, I don't blog ;)

LOVE YA!
(Wash your hands)

Stay Tuned

So, I've fallen off, once again, but I do have lots to tell you about.  So, once I'm not traveling, or chasing my own tail trying to figure out which end is... well, my end.... I'll be back.

Stay tuned.  My sidekick has lots to tell you too.

Luvs.

Whoop-see-daisy!

OK, I'm bombarding you. I'm sorry.  But, really, there's only two of you, so I'm not that sorry.

Anyhow.  I just found this series of photos that Josh took of Sidekick while I was gone last week, and they're so cute.  I just HAD to post them.

Sidenote: Since the photos below were taken, Sidekick received a VERY needed haircut.

 Check me out!

Whoa... 

Oh man... goin' down.... this is gonna hurt.

 Hmm.  Well that wasn't so bad.  

Just Cruisin

So, for Christmas little mister Sidekick got a walker.  He's been staying out past curfew and picking up women ever since... just kidding!  He has; however, been LOVING the wind blowing through his hair as he jets from room to room.  He thinks he's a rather big guy.

Today, he ventured into the bathroom.  Hysterical.  He's been trying to get in there for weeks now, but hasn't quite been able to maneuver it just quite perfectly enough to get through the door.  He's managed to get into the laundry room - so far, that's his favorite place.

But... Today was the day.

Hello Bathroom.... hello ducky.  I see you.

"Oh Hey Mom... Can you see my ducky.  He's just there... on the other side."

 Just a man and his thoughts.  

Only thing missing.... reading material.

After a few moments of reflection, I helped him scoot out of the bathroom.  For a little persuasion, I lured
him with the oh so lovely blankie...

Oh... gasp. Be still my heart.  That is just precious.  I'm going to snuggle with my blankie now.

Getting back on track...

OK, so it's been too long since I've paid any attention to this poor little blog.  I know I've said it before, but this is serious neglect.  I'm pretty sure my two readers have completely given up on me.

So, let me just tell you how 2011 has been to us and WHY I've been absent:
Week 1 - Sidekick get's the lovely Hand-foot-mouth disease.
Week 2 - I get it while working 10-12 hour days. (PS - adults don't usually get this - lucky me!)
Week 3 - I get some horrid form of sickness that gives me a fever, sore throat, cough, etc.  Josh gets it too.  Sidekick hangs in, but gets a little snotty nose, etc.
Week 4 - I get a sinus infection and nasty cough.
Week 5 - Josh gets sick & Sidekick gets a nasty, chunky cough & cold.
Week 6 - Sidekick has double ear-infection, RSV ... AND gets both top front teeth = mommy gets NO sleep.
Week 7 - Josh is sick again, Sidekick is hanging in there...

WEEK 8 - PLEASE BE KIND TO US!!!  PLEEEEEASE!!!

Sidekick's First Carrots

It's been a while, and I have a lot to catch up on... but this is just too funny and needs to go up now.

I hope your Holidays were better than carrots!

Brutal Honesty

We all know children are the truest form of honesty.  Unfiltered, honest to goodness TRUTH.  Gotta love them for it! 

Here's my story.  It won't be long... because I can't bare to talk about it much.  My niece, Kira, shared this conversation with me last night after dinner, before I had dessert:

Kira: Auntie, are you pregnant?

Me: Nope

Kira: Well it sure does look like it.




The end.
I'm going to the gym now.  I did not have dessert.

Crouching Tiger hidden Pumpkin

Little people are so much fun.  You can tell them your secrets and they won't tell anyone.  You can wear hideous clothes around the house and they won't criticize.  You can eat sweet treats and totally blow your diet and they won't make you feel guilty. 

Best of all... you can dress them up and they don't care!  

Maybe they'll care one day, but that day isn't today!

Thanks to Sidekick and his tiger (not Tigger) buddy for supplying us with some sweet entertainment and lots of orange memories.

LUVS!

Feelin' Funky

Sometimes we all have those days when we're just feeling a little funky.  Well, our sidekick recently had that day, or shall I say two days.

It started out like this on Tuesday evening:

Then on Wednesday morning, we had this:

Yes, I did stop and take pictures after he puked all over himself.  DO NOT JUDGE ME!  I had to.

We then ended like this:

MUCH BETTER!  :)

Cutest Pumpkin in the Patch!

Over the weekend we went to the Verdi Pumpkin Patch.

And we found this cute little guy!

 We decided to keep him! 

I think it was a GREAT choice!  

BEST pumpkin I've ever picked!

The statment of the YEAR!

I had a baby shower* to attend this weekend, among ninety other things.  However, going into the weekend, I had this baby shower flipped with another baby shower I have later in the month.  Needless to say, I was prepared.... for the OTHER shower!  Seems to be the story of my life.

So, on Saturday, I went into a tizzy wondering what the heck I was going to do about a gift.  There had been mass confusion all around about the gift and I definitely did not help the situation by completely confusing the two showers.  Needless to say, I knew Sunday, the day of the shower, was going to be a circus, three ring circus nonetheless.  To ward off as much stress as possible, I called around to the local boutiques to see who was open on SUNDAY.  About four phone calls in... JACKPOT!  There was actually a boutique open on a Sunday!  WAHOO!  "This is going to be easy-cheesy", I thought to myself.  I will keep the boutique nameless to save them from any ill mannered folk who read this (I know there's only 2 of you, but still).

Sunday morning, my alarm clock... ha ha... I mean child went off.  I'm up!  I'm up!  Let's tackle this day!  We zipped through our morning and we were out the door promptly at 9:50am so we could get to the specified boutique by 10am when they supposedly opened.  YAY!!!  "We're the first people here" I told my little baby sidekick.  "OH.  Wait. We're the ONLY people here".  Hmmm.... let's look at the hours.... on... the... door......

M-Th: 10-6
Fri-Sat: 10-5

Key words missing from the door... SUNDAY 10-5

PISS IT!  "You've gotta be kidding", I exclaimed and slammed my head onto the steering wheel.  UGH!  My plan had been foiled!   Their ever so fantastical voice mail said they were open on SUNDAY and they ARE NOT!!!  NOT NOT NOT!  Grrrr!

Onto Plan B.  Wait... there was no Plan B.  Um, ok... call Jenn.  OK, now call Jess.  PLAN B established!  Put vehicle in drive and start heading toward the location of Plan B, hope sidekick doesn't get hungry in the meantime.  Arrive at Plan B... Plan B doesn't open until 11am... key information... shower starts at 11:30am.  OK, call Jess back and establish Plan C.  Re-route vehicle and go to GOOD 'OL TARGET!!!!

TARGET HERE WE COME!  Pull into Target, feed my sidekick in the backseat (don't judge me) and watch the time tick away. Tick-toc. TICK-TOC.  So, I unload my sidekick after his gourmet meal and we zip in.  Me, him, the stroller, and my feet that were BURNING in pain because I decided to wear brand new 4" heels during our Sunday adventure.

Zipping, dashing and dodging in and out of the isles...we were like a tornado.  Anyhow, we found the CUTEST baby girl stuff.  People, I'm talking CUTE baby girl stuff.  We may have thrown in a thing or two for my sidekick as well, but who's keeping track.  He had worked hard up until then and needed a little "somethin' somethin'" for his patience.

We race & hobble like mad people up to the checkout and of course... NINE people, and only two checkout lines open!  ARGH!  This can't be happening.  Then... an angel appeared and said "I can help someone over here in checkout #9".  I shouted out, "oh oh... pick me!" and continued my frantic zippiness on over to lucky #9.

It was there that the whole story unraveled... and I looked at my clock to see that it was 11:20am and I was in dyer need of some extra time, deodorant and a foot rub.  Most importantly, some extra time. Then, this woman behind me commented on my cute sidekick.  "Thanks" I said.  She then asked "how old is he", and I replied "11 weeks".  She replied....

Wait for it...


Wait for it......

"WOW, you've really got it together"

*Baby shower was amazing, gifts were a hit.  Me and my sidekick had a great time.

Love...

As the weather starts to change, and the leaves start to turn their magnificent colors of gold, red and orange.... I have realized that one thing never changes.  LOVE.

You see, my brother is getting married next weekend, and in the hustle bustle of getting everything and everyone ready, I can't help but marvel in the LOVE.  The love my brother and his marvelous bride have for each other.  The love we all have for them.  The love the bride has for her dress.  The love my brother has for his specially made, personalized shoes.  The love they have for their families.  The love we all have for the cake (I'm so excited for the cake I can't stand it!).

Love in all of its magnificent ways... is always constant.  It may morph into different forms, like my love for oranges during my pregnancy, or my love of a squishy little baby neck, but it always... always is there.

Here are some of my loves (no particular order):
my family (ALL OF THEM!)
my husband
my precious little baby boy
cookies
snuggly blankets
Holiday Inn pillows (I've mentioned it before, and you may think I'm nuts, but I'm so RIGHT!)
diesel parts (if you know me, you know why)
wine
Florence, Italy (part of my heart is there)
sunset
sunrise (I've seen many of those lately)
baby breath
baby giggles
my husbands scruffy face
my doggies
cookies
the thought of not being so flappy, floppy, and flabby all over
my cowboy boot slippers
a nice tan
a martini
olives from a martini
birthdays
my husband holding our baby
sushi
pictures from Bliss Studio
a good laugh with an old friend
Italian food.. REAL Italian food

a phone call from a friend you haven't talked to in faaaaaar toooo looooong
a good joke (I will forever love a good corny joke)
autumn
hot chocolate



OK, OK - I'll stop.  I could go on and on... ahhhh.... LOVE.

I wish you all much LOVE and happiness.  Never forget to tell someone how much you love them every time you see them.  Now go give someone a big HUG.

xoxoxo

Have you ever?

****Disclaimer:  No babies were actually harmed or lost... ever.

Have you ever.... talked in your sleep?  Walked in your sleep?  Laughed in your sleep? Carried on a conversation in your sleep?  Completely gone into a frantic fit and thought you lost your child in your bed, got on your hands and knees feeling and patting down every square inch of your bed, stripping yourself and your husband of all sheets and blankets, thrown your husbands legs across the bed and rolled him over and RIPPED away his pillows because he’s “suffocating the baby!”....  (insert heavy, gasping, panicked breaths)?

Well... I have!  It’s happened THREE ... yes THREE times now!  It’s awful!  I can laugh now, but when it happens, it’s absolutely awful.  I’m actually cracking up right now as I write this, because if there were a video camera in our room, it would be the FUNNIEST thing to watch.. I’m convinced. 

The worst part about the whole thing, is that the precious little munchkin doesn’t even sleep in our room, let alone our bed, so there’s no logical reason for me to ever think he’s in bed with us, let alone lost in our bed.

It all starts when I’m sleeping... soundly soundly sleeping.  ZZZZ  zzzz  ZZZZ... a peaceful slumber that I CHERISH with all my heart.  Dreaming of sweet things like, sleeping. 

Then SUDDENLY...

I sit up. 

I start feeling around and wildly patting every inch of bed that I can reach, “where’s the baby... where’s the baby”? 

No baby.... AHHH! 

So I fly onto my hands and knees and start the wild search, throwing sheets, pillows, comforters... my husband... you name it...if it’s in the way of me and my baby... it’s OUTTA HERE!  I’m like the Tasmanian Devil zipping through a few square feet of bedding uncontrollably. 

Still... no baby...

So what’s the next logical thing to do when you’re completely hallucinating in your sleep? 

Get up OUT OF BED, frantically walk the perimeter of the bed and feel around with every appendage, continuously repeating “oh... oh... where are you, buddy... where are you?”. 

Then, once I arrive at the other side of the bed, I again move poor Josh and RIP the pillows out from under him - BECAUSE he MIGHT be squishing the baby! 
A few moments later... after trying to ignore this wild fit of hysteria, Josh wakes up and says “WHAT are you doing?”. 

I stop.
 
Take a breath. 

Wake up a little...

Reply...
“I’m dreaming and I can’t stop”. 


Then, I wake up (really wake up) and hear the noise of the baby monitor and know that my sweet precious baby angel is sleeping soundly in his room, in his crib, and best of all... he’s not in our bed and he’s not lost.

And then I return to my peaceful slumber.  That is, after I get my heart rate back down to a normal speed, and not that of a race horse.

Sweet dreams :)

TWO MONTHS!

Our little man is growing fast and ferocious!  He's a WHOLE 2 months old now!  WOWZA!

Just look at that HAPPY HAPPY Face!  He's so stinking cute!  We are loving every moment with him and he seems to be enjoying us as well.  (WHEW!)

He even goes out to the garage and works hard with his Daddy.

We're planning a few adventures soon, so stay tuned!!